mkay , so things went pretty bad today. i didn't even bother to fight back anymore. i can't say its because it's not worth it .. im just gonna let him be. let him do what i did. let him realize that what he's going through now is just a phase. word, this is all dejavu to me, but its his turn now. i'll just wait until he realizes. will i still be here when that day comes? who knows, possibly .. possibly not. only time will tell. but im not gonna lie, i feel down, very down actually . im so not in the mood for anything. its such a beautiful day outside too. honestly, at the moment i am currently smiling, word .. and why is that ? because i can .*sigh* . actually, i feel quite better than i did earlier. thanks to mr.saludares. word, he's a boy .. gave me realtalks, reality checks, and perscisive responses. its what i didn't want to hear but had to. he could've been a boy and said something else to make me feel better, yet he was a real boy and said something to make me feel down, but the truth. word .. thanks nigguh if you shall be reading this somehow . you tend to make me crack a smile here and there. anyways, im just currently waiting until sophia's done her appointment and what not and we shall go out for 'coffee' and talk. lol , i also invited ashley to whom i shall be calling up soon .. hopefully. but word , i haven't seen those two bitches in the longest time and getting together this way would be a great way to catch up and what not. gosh, oh dear .. he has left me to question so many things. im holding up better than i thought though. i guess i've learned to stay away from attatchment after the first time. yay me :) . but question is, should i wait until realization hits him, or should i proceed with my life and move on? how about, we'll just see because 'clocks don't talk and only time will tell' . sounds like a good plan. hmm , for the time being, im just gonna smile because i can (y) .

NTS: keep yourself occupied and try to avoid yourself from being alone to keep from thinking so hard . its not good for you (y) .