so plan was to get my third tattoo done sometime this week. i was supposed to get my initials in cursive behind my ear in like really small letters. i finally got my opportunity to get it, finding out that the person doesnt do it anymore. FML. ugh , i knew i shouldve just gotten it done when i called before. and you will never guess for how much .. $15 . fifteen fuckin dollars. ONLY $15 . ugh , fml freal . it was such a cheap price too . i still want to get it though. i went to an actual tattoo parlous finding out it would take $50 to do it there. im just like wtf ?! that is so damn overpriced. but whatevs, there's always another contact, but he's currently on the down low as well. i seen him the other day actually, but i didnt get the chance to ask him. last time i checked it wouldve have been $25, which isnt too bad. grrr , i just want to get it done asap. im so impatient.

so i am currently at home. where i've been this past week. why haven't i gone out? well i guess i just got sick and tired of just missioning down to loaft. when i go out, i want to have a reason to be out. not just to stand around and loaft, which is getting pretty damn boring. so a job is what i need, and looking for one right now is quite difficult. whoever may be reading this .. hook a girl up! thanks :) . well anyways, erick dearest came over early in the morning because he missed me oh so very much. jokes. well, he was bored, i was bored so yeah. these past few days, i've spent it watching so many damn filipino movies. it kept me entertained though. at the moment, i smell my mother's delicious cooking which is really making me hungry. but anyways, i spent last night phoning with sophia. we chatted for the longest time i swear. i love that, when we like stop talking for a bit then when we do we have so much things to say so phone calls are never boring. i also found something to wear to kathleen's sweet sixteen. a purple dress. i wasn't gonna go for purple just because i know its such a popular colour and majority of the guest would wear it, but regardless i still went out to buy a purple dress. oh well , i could really care less , as long as i look good , lol . tomorrow, plan is to chill with markham girls but not too sure if thats gonna pull through. ms.nicole pecson here still doesnt know how to drive on the highway and she doesnt want to take side streets since its gonna take so damn long. seannelle's down in saugga for awhile so i might just end up chilling with her. this friday is my father's birthday. hm , he's taking out my family and my uncle's family out for dinner somewhere , not too sure. knowing my history with my father, how ackward is that gonna be. i was thinking of making him a card at least nut im not too sure. there's just too much tension between us that im contemplating on whether or not i should even go. blah, but i guess i will since my mother would greatly appreciate it if i do. saturday of coarse is kathleen's. not too sure of what to get her yet. probably just a card and money. so many people that i havent seen in the longest time are going to be there. looking forward to it. and on sunday, my mother and i have plans to renovate my room upstairs. im tired of living down here .. its so dark. after my room gets painted then i shall move all my stuff back upstairs again. looking forward to that too. as for now, i have nothing new to say. i shall update again when i get bored, lol!

Twenty seven long damn months. hmm , i actually cant really say we've been together for that long. remember those two long periods we weren't together? well actually, technically, right now we're not even together .. we are in an 'open relationship' . well whatever, doesnt seem any different to me. as if we had the title, we wouldn't be treating each other any different now would we? well anyways, the reason for why i'm writting this .. you're a cool guy? lol, okay no. i'm writting because recognitions are always nice, right ? well here's yours .

you are amazing. your physical characteristics are why girls are so attracted to you. im glad to know that out of the many fish in the sea, you've decided to choose me. we may have had many issues because of this, yet we have managed to overcome them all . although looks are what attracts a person to you, theres also personality. you are very enthusiastic. i can have so much fun with you from the littlest things. you're smart, street smart at least. you know how to get your way out of the toughest situations. you are one of the biggest annoyance in my life. you piss me off so much. often too. at times i really want to hate you and just scream at you for doing so many stupid things, but noones perfect. i know you're trying, and that's all that matters. i love the way you protect me from all harm. whether it's telling me to walk on the other side of the sidewalk away from the street when its raining to keep me from getting wet as the cars pass by, or from me doing something really stupid that i will regret in the near future. you're always there to protect and guide me. i love the way you stand up for me . it really shows how much respect you have for me, and how much you care for me. i love the way you look at me at random times for absolutely no reason. the looks you give makes me feel very loved. there are many words out there to describe the way you are to me. if stated all of them, reading this entry would be tiring for you , so here is where i shall end it. Erick Maiquez Briones, you're an amazing guy. It's been twenty-seven long months since we started everything, and we have many more to go, right ? Right . I'm glad we made it this far. I'm looking forward to the many memories we will continue to make, the laughs we'll have, the many arguments and fights we'll be having, and of coarse the love and affection we show towards each other. Don't be so quick to quit, actually no. Never quit. Not done yet. Love you!

alright, so yesterday i had a major piss off breakdown to which i decided to let the whole blog society, well the ones who read mine at least know about all the wrong you're constantly doing. ' does pissing me off amuse you? ' was the name of the post. in crystal clear english dialect, i have exposed so many negative thoughts i have had for you. everyday my mood is constantly changing. and like i told you, just like others, i have a limit. once you've crossed that limit, i'm just going to snap and all of my emotions will just come rushing by. so why have i deleted it ? i did because i knew it was a temporary post. i had so much anger towards you that letting it all out through blog was the only way i could express myself. the only way for you to finally get the point. talking clearly didn't work, everyday we fight about the same things. constantly. and clearly, it did not get through your head. maybe if i did it publicly, maybe, just maybe you would've finally catch on, and caught on you did. so here i am right now, writting a recognition. not an apology, yet a recognition.

today was amazing. you were constantly thanking me for so many things i have given you and for so many things i have done for you. for the smallest to the largest. at first i thought to myself, is he being sarcastic? how am i supposed to respond to this? so i questioned you. you replied with, 'im so serious .. i just want you to know that i appreciate every little thing you do.' at first i thought you were just bullshitting, but clearly you werent. for the rest of the night, all you did was make me smile. we had too many laughs, although we couldve turned the other way and have taken certain issues seriously and would have ended up just getting mad at each other, we turned the other cheek and just laughed through it all the way. when we had 'realtalks', you asked me, so what now? do you want to end things? i didnt answer with a direct reply, as in no or yes, i answered agressively and said, dont fuckin ask me that. but regardless of how rude i've been treating you, your response tends to always amaze me. then things slowly turned the other way and it seemed as if things were slowly getting to the worst of things...


kyoot right? good job today. as the days go by, you seem to amaze me. you are unpredictable and thats what i love about you. does pissing me off amuse you? clearly it does, but in the end it seems to help us get to the good. you're a good guy afterall. you did change. keep doing so.

friday . t'was a very beautiful day outside. like word , sun was shining, birds were chirping, the temperature was very warm, it was lovely. so what to do on a nice friday ? well , no plans were really made so we all decided to go down to Kariya Park . suprisingly, ashley came down to chill, after like so damn fuckin long. but yeah .. went down to the park cause its so nice there and what not. took enough pictures. loved it. we were also smoking in there, very ironic .. gay -_- . but yeahh , afterwards we headed back to the mall and jen ashley and i went to bk to grab something to eat. soon, we all met up with everyone else. ashley was the first to leave (n), good thing she did , we did nothing but fuckin loaft. f'real , all we did was loaft after mall hours. gosh, it was such a waste. but anyways , we actually ended up going to pho, good cause i was getting hungry too. but yeah, after that we loafted even more. me and erick got tired of it so we headed off home, while jen got picked up, and ryan, drew, and jed met up with everyone else at square one terminal to where they did their own thing that night. anyways, i slept at erick's for the night, got home at around 2am .. pertty late, my bus ended so yeah . saturday. woke up from my night's slumber. i had sucha good sleep, got home and knocked out. got ready and headed out again to play some ball down at james' area. met up with danielle, ray, jed, ryan t, james, ero, and laurence. played some ball. me and ryan owned laurence and danielle, dunno dunno! lol . soon enough, ryan and laurence left to go to jeff's dad's suprise party. the guys continued to play ball while jed, danielle , and i just chilled around her boyfriend's car .. lol , ero drove . i think ray got mad. lol , oh well . but anyways, danielle and ray left and athina came :) . james erick and i wentr to james' quicktimes just to grab a sweater . then headed back to thornwood to where we spent the longest time chilling there waiting up on seannelle, cess, and jen. lol , it was fun tho .. it was quite dark. we played so many games. 'boom chicka boom chicka boom chicka boom' LOL . and uhmmmm , that one word story game .. lol , pretty jokes as well . but yeah, finally seannelle, cess, and jen arrived , so we made our way to athina's, where we chilled for a bit and ate. gosh, cess and her brainteasers .. i hate them. but anyways , ralph and arvin also came by for a bit .. and drove us to baza's, where we all slept. met up with ero, ryan t, ashley, alex, ryan d, andrew, and jeff there. played the truth game, but it was pretty boring . liked it the first time we played it at andrew's , live . lol . ero's snoring was so damn loud, got louder everytime , grrr . sunday. woke up pretty early because baza's parents + baza had to go to church. so we all walked to mcdonalds. ate a bit then decided to go downtown. gosh , i swear we're at downtown like every weekend now . but anyways guys were loafting so much so cess, jen, dawn, and i were at islington for the longest time . oh man .. that brain teaster , 'i can draw a line from my nose to your nose' .. pretty gay , took me awhile to get it, lol . but yeah , ate at leetown then we were going to play some pool afterwards but they were all either full or closed . so we just went to college stn thingy and chilled there. then played the subway game afterwards, erick got left behind and i felt bad so i went back . since 420 was the next morning , we were all going to burn but plans were wobbly so erick and i just decided to go home, to where i havent been for the longest of time. glad to be here thou :)

anyways, that was my lovely weekend. and now, weather fucking sucks. it is 420 and im stuck indoors in my room because of this crummy mother fuckin weather outside. whatever, this is good actually. i am in the process of quitting (y). but anyways, thats enough writting for now, until next time .. here are some pictures :)

mkay, so my blog recently has been all about what i've done throughout the days . i haven't really gotten the time to write about my feelings for quite awhile. maybe now is the time to?

alright, so what has really been happening these past few days ? well, at first , i kinda sorta was getting pretty annoyed and irritated because of him. i dont like clingy guys, and he sorta became one . i guess it was just the thought of losing someone so many times, now that you have them, you never want to let go. but yeah , it irritated me quite a bit. anyways, we talked it over and like he seemed to have agreed with what i was saying, so from the on , i thought that yknow , maybe he'd lay off for a bit. i thought wrong, he would still constantly do thesame things over and over until at one point i just snapped . hmm , im pretty sure he got the point now. okay so that's situation one, situation two .. the past is constantly brought up . im not gonna lie , i do it too .. but only because he does. i know two wrongs dont make a right , but just to be a bitch i am, im just gonna rub it in his face . and like recently, he's been bringing up the ex. like wtf , thats like on a whole nother level. like uhm , i stopped bringing up his past because we both agreed to it, and yet hedoes something stupid like that. i learned to leave the past in the past for a reason, which is for just to work out . yknow ? iunno man .. everything is just fucked up . but actually , we seem to be on good terms , the past few days . right now i think he's pretty cheesed at mebecause i am currently using my time on the computer than rather spending it with him. i see him everyday of my life, let me have some alone time, true ?

alright so plan was to have a mature night with jed, but that kind of flopped. i was supposed to watch his performance but sadly i couldnt not since my mother dropped me off late (n) . but anyways .. went down to square to met up with ralph, ero, laurence, ryan, athina, jizelle, and james. chilled at square for awhile . the funniest thing happened. some random old-ish white guy came out of nowhere and like stood on the benches outside of terminal and like grabbed on laurence and jumped over him. lol ! too jokes , pretty random. then he got mad , so he knocked down the cart. i think he was drunk, lol . erick got new shoes .. pretty nice , i always liked them .. uhmm pro model adidas . good for ball (y) . but anyways .. soon enough , we all decided to go to bubble republic . we ordered and our food took long enough to come . goshhh , i was hungry too . lol , but anyways .. the food was quite good , and so was the bubble tea , yumm . afterwards, after like the longest time .. jed finally came. chilled outside for a bit . i had to go home because i told my mother i would so erick and i headed off to brampton not too long after . phoned with cess and seanelle to whom i haven't spoken to for the longest time . supposivly she's coming down this weekend . but anywhooos , it is friday tomorrow and apparently it shall be a really nice day . so , what are the plans ? not too sure yet . hopefully something productive :)

sunday . went home early from jen's . it wasn't too long until i got ready and headed out again. went to ero's to where i just chilled, took pictures and what not up until everyone else came. who's everyone ? well .. athina, jizelle, james, jen, cess, baza, lester, laurence, ryan x2, erick, ralph, ashley, christine, andrew , and im pretty sure that's everyone. but yeah, we watched that new xmen movie that hasnt come out in movies yet .. uhmm, 'wolverine' i think its called. lol, t'was a hilarious movie .. well the one we had. pretty low budget to what i've seen .. lol, love the special effects. but anyways, ralph drove him christine, ashley, and jen, and dropped of cess at islington. whebn they left, we were still at ero's , just loafting lol . actually no, we made a song .. ' oh jed ' .. pretty live, i shall upload video soon . but yeah .. as we were walking athina home, stupid guys kept talking about seeing some scary ghost girl underneath the bridge and what not . someone suggested to go through under the bridge and through the woods after we dropped off athina. and we actually ended up doing so . omfg , i was scared out of my fuckin mind .. like word , it was a full moon and stupid guys who got their damn stories stuck in my hand was all i could think about . so obviosuly, id be really scared , true ? but anyways .. as we got out , i was glad :) . didn't realyl do anything afterwards but went to andrew's and slept there for the night .

monday . okay , so bigbwoiiz decided they wanted to go downtown, so downtown we went. got there pretty late tho .. hmm, around 6 -7 ish ? met up with charlaine chau .. hot girl to whome i havent even talked to in the longest of time. t'was glad to see her . to a suprise, ian and greg were there as well .. to whom i havent since in quite a while as well . i was pretty happy :) got pretty bored too .. so we went to where else, but the apple store . lol , facebook and pictures ? haha .. still, we had fun with it . funniest thing happened as we went home . mkay, so we went to college stn. and we bought a day pass earlier . so the guy who collects the mooney and shit told us we couldnt get in because it was only good for one person since it was a holiday, we werel ike wtf ?!?! there was about six of us .. we got pretty cheesed . so we went back to queen stn. to see if it would work . ero, lester, and ryan got away .. but me and baza went to go pay . erick had the pass so he didnt have to either . lol , lester, ero , and baza were so dumb, they went back to college stn just to rub it in the guy's face that we got in .. and so they started banging on the glass and he called security, lol ! . we met up with drew and ryan at yonge/bloor . jen wasn't having such a great day . so i told her to come chill with us . so we met up with her on the bus on our way home. we all got pretty hungry so we decided to run missions at metro in dawn's area . as we got out , we see the bus passing right by us , so we all ran . gosh , that was the most running ive done in the lnogest time .. so very tiring . but word, we got enough groceries . lol , we like had a feast that night . to what i thought everyone would just end up sleeping after eatting .. we pulled an allnighter . i slept at around 630-7 am .. pretty live , lol . all we were doing was playing spoons with cards . whoever didnt have a 'spoon' was asked a question . lol .. oh man, so many things were exposed . lol, pretty live tho .

tuesday . woke up veryyyy late . ero actually went to school, suprising . but yeah .. woke up around 2 ish ? anyways .. jim called out andrew and yeah .. some next whole commotion happened within that situation that does not need to be mentioned. ANYWAYS , basically .. we all ended up at perez's . everyone had a talk with andrew . teves recorded his ' where is my rose' while i had some realtalks with quite a few . perez has this white wall that has nothing on it , at all . so we decided to use it as a background. so uhmm , they had a little mini photoshoot .. lol , gay . pictures were jokes tho . afterwards, we all had to leave .. sadly perez couldnt come since he didnt have keys :( . but yeah .. we went towards metro down central parkway east . we were gonna once again runn missions but that once a flop . so erick, ero, lester, and i just went to pizza pizza and ate a bit . then met up with the others and decided we'd head down to the woods again. since i've already been there, i knew what to expect so i wasnt too scared . up until we sorta got kinda lost . lol .. lester and i were somewhat leading and we went the wrong direction .. got me pretty bummy . anyways , as we were walking .. some like squeeking sound came out of nowher . omfg , i was scared like no fuckni tomorrow . i was so scared, i squeezed myself in the middle of everyone . blahhhhh . but yeah , as we we got out .. ero said something about how he saw something tryna grab jen . that got me kinda scared, knowing he has a 'thrid eye' and all . lol , but yeah ... i dont think he was jking , if he were .. he wouldnt be talking bout it still, right ? but yeah .. went to andrew's . everyone was pretty tired so not too long after we got there , we just all knoced the fuck out . woke up pretty late .. lol, noone ended up going to school . not too long after waking up, erick and i decided to go home to brampton to where i haven't been in the longest time .

so that was my weekend . loved it , glad it was with all the bitches who i love dearly . ps : dawn sadly couldnt be a part of the sunday, monday, tuesday part :( .

alright so woke up yesterday morning quite late. slept at andrew's the night before since it was holiday, buses end early (n) . but yeah .. i was up all night since the guys were so damn loud . lol , 'recording' .. haha baza, i swear i already memorized his verse due to the many times he rehearsed it . lol . but anyways, plan was to meet up with dawn and jen then reach up stc cause the guys wanted to get a phone. that kinda flopped. lol , so we walked to square one. on our way, we stopped by korea park since we were already there . took 'nuff pictures, which should be uploaded in quite a bit since someone (jen) hasnt uploaded yet. gotta say, the pictures were quite beautiful . lol .. anyways continued our walk to square one. it was such a beautiful day outside. but yeah .. chilled and ate at square. waited for ryan, baza, and james. saw jizelle ,ero , and sophia too :). then , ryan decided he wanted to get his eyebrow piercied so we all bussed our way to 5/10 . stayed there for a bit while he got his eyebrow piercied. while he was getting that done, a few of us were looking through the book of many tattoos. i want to get my third one done soon . but anyways .. erick and ralph went to jim's , and everyone else went to another jam. while jen, dawn, baza, ryan, and andrew and i went to like two lcbos tryna get juice but that was a flop . lol , jen was so dumb at mcdonalds . tried to throw the garbage to seem as if we didnt eat and all then napkins and paper fell onthe ground lol . talk about fail . but yeah ... afterwards, bussed to jen's area and chilled at timmy's for a bit. lol .. t'was jokes . ' make your mad face' .. haha andrew was too jokes that night, like honestly .. too fuckni hyper. it was probably that cake from price chopper. that cake was fuckin amazing, freal . like honsetly ... it was so good . lol ! but yeah , had fun making fun of dawn's walk .. LOL, its all love . soon enough ,we headed to jen's and cess came not too long after. sadly, dawn had to leave so we dropped her of at the bus stop . damn, at that point we had no form of entertainment , LOL . but yeah .. not too long after, everyone else came (erick, ralph, ero,laurence, ryan, lester) . pretty much burned the whole night . gosh , i was so gone .. like honstly . ryan and ero spent the night trippin us out . lol . but yeah .. some convincing and realtalking happened afterwards with lester . hope everyone's words of wisdom did him any good, or at least i hope he took it in . but yeahhhh , they left too so it was only me, cess, erick, and jen who stayed at jen's for the night. got pretty hungry so we ordered pizza. gosh ,im like craving for some right now . but anyways .. i was like dead tired so i knocked out . woke up this morning and chilled for a bit then headed back home to where i havent been for awhile. i shall reach out in a bit . not too sure what im doing tho . but i shall blog another time .

mkay so it is currently 9:15pm and i am at athina's home with james, athina, ero, and jizelle. ugh , fml .. talk about fifth wheeler ? thats ok .. i dont really care. BUT ANYWAYS .. so today, just chilled with erick for awhile at my hous then reached ssauga. met up with ero and finally got to listen to their listen to your heart pt.2 . pretty damn live ... andrew and james sound prettty good in it lol , not saying they suck .. but i think its better than their other ones. but anyways .. walked to athina's . hmm , bout 5-10 minute walk ... it was actually a good 20 minutes, ero you fuckin liar. but it was good i guess . day was nice. chilled at athina's with them two at first . spent the majority of the time watching documentaries on youtube, lol things such as 2012 and so many other conspiracies. gosh , its making the whole 2012 conspiracy more convincing . but anyways .. james came by and ruined our moment, bitch , JOKE. but uhmmmm yeah . jizelle came not too long ago and no im fifth wheel . fml . lol , i dont care . 'trade faces with chris paul already' - athina yujuico to james manaloto. LOL , oh gosh ... what a joke . but anyways , im here contemplating whether or not i should reach downtown, then cess' afterwards . lol .. ero said hed mission with me . hmm , maybe .. not too sure yet . BUT YEAH, nothing else to write .. i shall update later on in the night .

alright so sudden plans to reach up frequency night club. okay , well my day started off by waking up extra early .. well earlier than i usually wake up. i had to be at the hospital by 9:30 am. and that i accomplished, lol . well .. i had some doctor check me up and what not, like he asked me a bunch of questions or whatever, pretty gay . i didnt like him at all, i hardly understood him because of his damn indian accent and he was quite rude towards my mother and i . he also ignored her a couple of times, lol pretty funnny. anyways, overall .. it didnt go well. he insisted i take medication to control my sleeping patterns and anger towards whoever i may show it to. he also insisted in me staying at the hospital for ten days to incourage my sleeping pattern and what not. pretty gay, hell no im not gonna stay there . pretty wierd. anyways, as my day continued .. my mother decided to take my grandma and i to pho, mmm .. good breakfast (y). then proceeded my way to erick's house to where i chilled and got caught up on my sleep since i slept pretty late last night. soon enough, ralph came over and we went to china buffet to grab lunch. afterwards, headed back to erick's to get ready for clubbbbing :) . i had to rush since everyone seemed to be in a rush. later on, we headed off to cathy's to where we met up with her and marlona, chilled at her home for awhile then went to mcdonalds since they haven't ate yet. saw tannisha and nadeem to whom i haven't seen for quite awhile since i no longer go to school . picked up shane from his home who took long enough to get ready, lol . waited up for shivonne and sadly she couldnt come due to personal issues. cemone was also loafting because she had to wait for her mother to give her money. she also didnt end up coming because of her own personal reasons. but anyways, as the night proceeded .. we were finally on our way to the club. ero called up and told us to come down afterwards. so, we got to the club.. it wasn't that packed yet. frequency is a pretty small club .. the hip hop room had two floors (y) . they didn't play a lot of dancehall and reggae tho .. pretty gay, mostly hip hop. there was a lot of white girls, like when i mean a lot, i mean A LOT. lol , the way some of them were dancing .. uhmm, no comment. haha. anyways, saw justin, gerard, and roland .. to whom i havent seen since justin's 18th birthday jam. kinda miss those guys. we left early because it was getting boring, like i said .. songs were gay. but yeah, we were gonig to reach down ssaugga afterwards but that flopped .. everyone was tired, so we dropped off shane and marlona home. then we proceeded our way to wendys to where we ate dinner ? lol . didn't stay there too long tho . afterwards, we dropped off cathy and ralph and erick chilled at my house. not too long after, ralph left and erick is currently here to sleepover. and now im here writting on my blog. im dead tired so i shall get some rest. tomorrow, i will be at athina's with sophia and jizelle ? lol , photoshoot (y) . and movies afterwards ? not too sure .. but jen also mentioned she might continue our little get together tomorrow instead of saturday. we shall see .. but for now, i shall get some rest . ( note: no more good camera, dad took it back .. so pictures are stuck with the old ugly one )

hm , so today .. spent the majority of it with erick bwoydem and ralphers. lol , they came over and recorded their remix to 'listen to your heart' . lol , as to why i chose the title for this entry .. sneak preview of erick boss bwoi' briones' verse . lol . we also bought pizza and what not and just ykno , chillaxed and what nots . afterwards they had to leave, sadly since i had to go visit my aunt who just c ame back from the philippines. omg, she got me oh so much ,actually no . not as much as i expected but stillluhs , she gave me quite a plentiful amount of goodies. lol. also spent a good amount of time conversing with andrew odicta, about non-sense . lol! topics such as being bored, entertaining ourselves, oh and being bored, LOL . pretty gay, i was supposed to reach down ssaugga ? got pretty lazy and like i said , i just stayed home to chillax with the guys . OMFG, before i forget to mention .. dawn and jen decide to pull a prank on me. i must admit , it was quite funny and entertaining . it killed my boredom . lol , but they made it kind of obvious that they were just making stuff up due to the names they used .. ' shaniqua, latifa, bonnita' ??? lol wtf ??? . pretty gay, but i must admit .. they had me going for awhile. hmm , well thats it .. my day wasnt that interesting. imma go out for a bogey now. OMFGSH, i only have one more left, fml -_- . thats ok .. im gonna see erick tmrw and he should give me more :) . k , well , tata for now .

okay first off .. i shall start things with my hair . so plan was to bleach my whole head and make it brown but that kinda flopped .. so instead i just wanted the middle part . not peekaboos or not the top part but in the middle. so yeah , we bleached it and only like my roots showed up , lol fml . my hair does not want to co-operate with me . so anyways, next solution ? dye it red .. which turned out prettty damn live . the hair cut was looking pretty ugly and thick , so layers ? lol yupp .. i got layers as welll .. looks so much better now . the red is so damn bright though . thats okay , i love it. hopefully everyone else will to , actually fuck them i dont care . as long as i like it . the end . next topic girls . mkay , from the looks of things, im not the only one noticing that girls are so much motherfuckin drama .. and no i dont speak for all , but some . theres quite a few out there who are very chill and dont give a fuck and just mind their own business, yet theres those who likes to get into other peoples business and start to cause drama trauma, which is so not necessary. drama queens. not gonna lie, i have my days and im pretty dramatic .. but theres a certain limit you must reach where you know youre doing too much. freal . sometimes , i just want be with the guys and away from all that drama, bullshit, and what not. not gonna lie , i talk shit too .. just like everyone else . theres noone on the face of this eath who doesnt talk shit, cmon . we all know we do it . mostly girls , cause yknow .. we tend to gossip a lot , but whateves .. theres only so many girls that i can really trust . they dont need to be mentioned, you girlies know who you are. i love you all to death. mkay, last but not least, the ex . erick briones . we are currently not together .. i have no right to set restrictions towards you because of the fact that i am not your girlfriend . so what do i do now ? do i just watch you continue the things im bothered by ? or do i speak up ? hmmm . no . i shouldnt have to say anything. you should know what bothers me the most and what makes me unhappy. you claim that you dont want to do anything to hurt me, yet you continue to . im sure you dont notice .. well maybe you should start paying more attention to your actions. ugh, honestly , i have no trust in you whats so ever , and you know that .. just because of the past. but then again, i have to ' Realize that you have to see that pessimistic pest past before you can catch a glimpse of the future.' before i can even see a future in us again, i need to see our past and whether or not things are actually beginning to change the way you claim you have been .

hmm , okay so my birthday is coming up .. well its in approximately two months but i don't want it to flop so i want to plan ahead. whoever is reading this .. give me suggestions! now is the time :) k thankssss .

k so today, woke up pretty late .. around 12 ish or so . i was pretty bored so i decided to watch 2 fast 2 furious .. which is btw my most favorite movie in like the whole world. lol , it started to fuck up so i played NFSU . pretty live . but anyways , back to my day .. didn't do anything special but just chilled at the briones' residence and spent it with the one and only . anyways, afterwards .. mother dearest came by to pick me up and went to go buy hair dye (y) . went home finding out i got my internet back .. yay ! no more boredom .. lol , well at least i have the computer to entertain me . so anywaysss .. spent like the whole night time half of the day conversing with athina on the phone and msn . live girl , freal .. pretty damn cool . talked about everyone and everything . gosh . i havent really realized how long it took for ero to reply .. fuckin' loafter . btw, your new track .. is fuckin' bangin . but yeah, athina .. i know you're reading this you little creeper .. youre fuckin hot ! photoshoot this friday .. freal , no flop if you do .. omgsh , fml . lol ! thats it for now . tomorrow doings? i shall be with jenniferlyn and dawners and they shall experiment with my hair and what not . tata for now :)

Have you ever cared about someone ?
Cared so much that you debate whether or not the feelings you were touched with are stronger than they really are. But your scared of walking through the alley way of love, because there are ditches of depression and raindrops that fall heavily from the pupils of pupils. The ones who try to learn about life and relationships but continuesly fall in to the pive of pain. See, this alley way opening is between the unlock, the unblocked, the oximore on spot called deception and integrity. So its bitterweet sound makes you wanna speculate. I have walked through this unpaved path. The curiousity kills the inner bliss, yet I still enter at my own risk. I thought that the alley way was a safe opening shortcut to love and everyone loves being in love. But the notorious gang of reality appeared out of nowhere. So they jumped me, punching and crushing my dreams of being with her. Taking all the dignity that i had left for relationships, stepping on the all hope that i tried to rebuilt, ripping my heart, pointing the gun of grief right to my eyes and as reality itches to pull the trigger, pow. bullets of tears and in an inavated race running down a lonely mans innocent face like a marathon just began. At the end of the alley way is the fence of heartbreak that restricts you. although you see where you wanna go, but you cant get to it. See when I see her, my time of the day pauses providing me with the proper pace for my eyes to proceive all different beauty. Every hour feels like a minute and every minute feels like a second, and every second that goes by forces my senses to get excited because of the touch, the essence, the eyes, the hidden message but then I realize with real lies the real truth that I am at the end of the alley way where the fence is. I am restricted. I cannot hold her, I cannot treat her like shes mine, and i cannot... treat her like shes mine. But, that voice it hits the keys that pleases and leaves me at ease like a classical piano peice but I have to step back from the fence because now that the grass is green on your side.. I will sacrifice so that you can be satisfied. So next time I wont take the alley way shortcut to love. Instead I'll have patience cuz patience is love. You see in life, one person's smile is cause by one person's tears. So when will someone cry for me ? when will i get my chance for a little glimpse of heaven right now its hell because clocks dont talk, but only time will tell. But until then, I'll watch you smile from the other side of the fence. the fence that you put up yourself .

hmm , just something to think about. Lo-key is an amazing lyricisit . taken from live performance: pinoy poetiks, summer 2008 .