k so he's changing. not in a good way either .. it seems that he's turning back into his old self, which is the reason why we couldn't get along in the first place. why must he act this way? is it because he has me now and thinks i will remain attached to him regardless of what happens? no. i assure you that old me is dead and gone away. i promised myself to stay away from attachment, due to obvious reasons. recently, i find him acting very stupid and selfish. he has no reason to act this way, i didnt do anything that would lead him to acting this way. so someone tell me, what the fuck is wrong with him. hmmm , thinking about it, a relationship doesn't revolve around one person, it involves two people. so if he fails, i fail with him. so does that mean i failed too ? no . we're not in a relationship .. according to him, we're only in an 'open relationship' .. according to him, we're not really together so i have no right to tell what he can and can't do. so in the end, what am i really getting out of all of this ? well , from what it seems, im not getting a boyfriend or anything good. so why must i put up with all his bullshit, once again? because i love him. and putting up with his nonesense is worth all the wrong he's doing towards me. bullshit! no girl should put up with a guy whos doing them wrong just because they love them. a reason to love someone is because both show affection towards each other, both show trust and loyalty, and fights shouldn't be constant. so basically, am i just trying to clarify that i dont really love him and its all just a front ? no , i really do .. im talking facts yet nonesense right now. im so confused. i hate all this fighting we're doing, and all for the wrong reasons too. i don't understand why he has to treat me this way. dont get me wrong, he does so much good to me, which is why im sticking around, yet why must the bad always come out. i hate it. well i guess i should just get used to it .. * sigh*, another day, another night, another reason to fight.